I have always been a good observer. I have never thrown myself headlong into any action. I have always preferred to weigh decisions carefully and only then take a step to the right or left. Even when I met a person for the first time, I spoke little or nothing, preferring to observe the person in question and only then decide whether or not to welcome them into my circle of friends. I always liked to sit and observe others. Over time I developed my eye for detail, I learned to observe people without staring, I learned to pay attention to the tone of a person’s voice, to small and large gestures.
There are many ways to look at a person. When I was little and I wanted to confuse others, annoy them, I put on a serious face and looked at them deep in the eyes (with that look that’s like a hook launching itself into a man’s stomach). I believe that this is the most intimate gesture possible because the moment you look deeply into someone’s eyes, a special connection is created that allows you to know, to «read» the person in front of you. It is probably not for nothing that they say that the eyes are the door to the soul. I have always found it fascinating how people react when you look deeply into their eyes. Most of them frown and immediately break eye contact, some of them you can read the terror in their eyes, you can see the small twitches of their eyelids, some move their ears back, others flinch. Between us, I haven’t met a single person (not even in my family) who is at peace with the fact that you look into their soul, giving you the impression that they say «welcome!».
There is also the look with which you challenge someone (to fight). It’s that look that goes into the other’s eyes without being penetrating. It’s just that your eyes meet halfway and you stare at each other for a while. This type of look brings with it a lot of testosterone, excitement, nervousness… At first I thought this was how you look at an opponent to face him. Until a beautiful sunny day when Sensei told me not to look my opponent in the eyes. Wait a minute… But where should I look to be good?!I asked him. I remember the response was short and straight to the point: «you look at everything, it’s a diffuse look, as if you saw the outlineIt’s a different life. It’s an active way of looking at someone. It’s very different from what I’ve perfected over time, I mean now a passive way of observing people. First of all, this way of looking «establishes» you, it gives you the necessary calm that helps you receive the attack. Furthermore, it forces you to breathe deeply, with your abdomen, and allows you to perceive even the most subtle movements of your opponent. And I think there’s a bonus too (although I’m not entirely sure, I still have to do some research): this way of looking at an opponent «hides» you in such a way that it will be difficult for the person in front of you to read you. I’ll explain right away why I believe it.
As a rule, in the gym we work on certain exercises with a partner. We determine what the offense is like, what the defense is like. Brief parenthesis. Remember what I’m telling you now. Sensei was trying to teach us how to get back up. And he says, «it’s like when someone helps you get up.» Or he tried to explain to us how to get up from below with the sword: «it’s like when someone pulls the tip of the sword towards the ceiling and you get up too.» I think my «someone» is an extra because damn if he ever comes to help me up. I had to look after myself. I close the parenthesis.
Buuun, back to my story. So, during training we repeat various exercises. I hope you remembered: we know what offense is and what offense is like, and we know what defense is. When I work with Sensei (or other advanced colleagues), I sit in position and should react when the attack comes. So I try to practice that way of looking at the silhouette of a man, I try to stay calm, to breathe… The problem is that Sensei does the same… My attempt to «read» Sensei’s movements, «bumps» against a… small smoked glass that doesn’t allow me to see everything… I see movement, but I see it too late to react adequately. At least for now. I roll onto the doll, then «someone» decides to appear and help me jump onto the ceiling. This is the feeling I have: that in one leap I could cling to a neon sign and stay there until my tachycardia goes away. 🙂
That’s all for today. 🙂
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